this.is.the.real.deal.

so here comes the end of march...birthday party is over. i retired my larry bird jersey for paul pierce.. and i'm ok with that. K-Spot has left the building and i'm in denial about that. i went to see Light Me Up and Boys Life tonite. it was spectacular on all fronts. felt like a second birthday actually. only cuz i had some very HQ people around me..Light Me Up sang a new song "Lucky Penny" and i was almost freaking over with tears. OMG!!!!ahhh..
hungover, pensive, sad today, along with the onset of nightmares (fuck off i thought i sent you fuckers to the corner store yo!) I predict mini freakouts to come.. The realization that i have a month left in this house and this city. its madness. no fucking around anymore. get rid of shit, get plane tix booked, get the idea that YOURE NOT JUST COMING RIGHT BACK into yer head. NY has always been a place i adored, but i caould always come home to somewhere else. No escapes this time. moments of confidence and doubt swing like a pendulum, but thankfully they linger longer at the more uplifting side of the swing. I don't know really how this next month is gonna be.
At the mohawk tonite i heard Edward Sharpe, Crocodiles, Soft Moon, MGMT, etc.. in between bands. Craving a Krissie next to me.. wanted her to see Boys Life really bad cuz she loves the beach fossils and its right up her alley. July will bring BL to new york for 5 shows, and i can't tell you how happy that makes me. even on vacation, i will go see a band from austin, just to witness the tourlife, the crowd reaction. i anticipate many front row spots for ATX bands coming thru the new city. rent or buy some vans fuckies! if i have a room, my floor is all yours!
so...what else is new? well what else is old? i'm clinging to both right now. srsly don't want to blog down the blog with a bunch of personal crap, but hey this.is.the.real.deal. it really does hit all at once. today being the pre all at once day. April is my month of TCBing. can't afford not to. must lay off the vices and get boxes and sell shit and "just get there" as my friend Jenny from denver told me tonite. it is very simple when you put it on the table. all you gotta do is get there. and BTW, getting there isn't half the fun whatsoever. Being very negative and nostalgic..should listen to more of that Naked and Famous album..kinda makes me pumped when it pops up on the ipod as of late. so...sad to miss the psych fest..turns out i will be a moving ass machine that weekend. hauling and trucking whatever belongings i have left to my parents house. The garage sale will certainly be an eye opener. My hope is that my house will be empty, i will be $200 richer, and moving shit will become more carload style versus truck load. Thank GOD! moving blows. Missing ATX psych fest is really gonna be lame (reevaluation of the lineup today AKA stupid internet search). missing intimate and friend fueled shows like tonite and gatherings like last nite are gonna be the lamest. making jokes with my folks and seeing them so often is gonna kill me. BUT i've grown up so much..being sick and conquering demons has been the most grown up and challenging thing i've ever been thru. sometimes it happens when people are 18. i waited a decade for my own awakening. things happen for a reason , i truly believe that. GOD ain't fuckin around here. so bring on the challenge. i'm ready. i'm ready. i'm ready. the worst fear is the unknown, but its also the most thrilling. let's try keep the pendulum on the thrilling side of things. rambling thoughts are out for now...i don't have a therapist or a punching bag, but i have long jogs, jazzercize, upcoming skype dates with K-spot, HQ folks ,shoulders to lean on, and mytwinletoes on my side until shit hits the fan. feeling very nostalgic, thankful, and dare i say optimistic at said moment. goodnite sweet march, its been a great month. let the real madness begin, April, come in like a fucking lion.