Tuesday, April 14, 2015

once a year

its 2015 so here is my one post of the year...so far. things are peachy. things are grand. I'm blessed. I'm lucky. constant underlying feeling that it can't/won't last because..that's life? that's the pattern. early 20's was thin and depressed,quiet.gradual shift into the 30s in OCD and survival mode. and then the light came. i luckily wanted to keep living and do it well. the battles came and went.. and here I am...not taking much stock and writing once or twice a year, regretfully very little. i think when i stopped being scared of the future-whatever that meant, bio clock, losing ppl, changing in general,indecision- i stepped my way into the moment. took a long time...so much fuckin wasted time. Its nice to be able to sift through the bullshit and for me that's enough for now. Thankfully more than enough.