this.is.the.real.deal.

so here comes the end of march...birthday party is over. i retired my larry bird jersey for paul pierce.. and i'm ok with that. K-Spot has left the building and i'm in denial about that. i went to see Light Me Up and Boys Life tonite. it was spectacular on all fronts. felt like a second birthday actually. only cuz i had some very HQ people around me..Light Me Up sang a new song "Lucky Penny" and i was almost freaking over with tears. OMG!!!!ahhh..
hungover, pensive, sad today, along with the onset of nightmares (fuck off i thought i sent you fuckers to the corner store yo!) I predict mini freakouts to come.. The realization that i have a month left in this house and this city. its madness. no fucking around anymore. get rid of shit, get plane tix booked, get the idea that YOURE NOT JUST COMING RIGHT BACK into yer head. NY has always been a place i adored, but i caould always come home to somewhere else. No escapes this time. moments of confidence and doubt swing like a pendulum, but thankfully they linger longer at the more uplifting side of the swing. I don't know really how this next month is gonna be.
At the mohawk tonite i heard Edward Sharpe, Crocodiles, Soft Moon, MGMT, etc.. in between bands. Craving a Krissie next to me.. wanted her to see Boys Life really bad cuz she loves the beach fossils and its right up her alley. July will bring BL to new york for 5 shows, and i can't tell you how happy that makes me. even on vacation, i will go see a band from austin, just to witness the tourlife, the crowd reaction. i anticipate many front row spots for ATX bands coming thru the new city. rent or buy some vans fuckies! if i have a room, my floor is all yours!
so...what else is new? well what else is old? i'm clinging to both right now. srsly don't want to blog down the blog with a bunch of personal crap, but hey this.is.the.real.deal. it really does hit all at once. today being the pre all at once day. April is my month of TCBing. can't afford not to. must lay off the vices and get boxes and sell shit and "just get there" as my friend Jenny from denver told me tonite. it is very simple when you put it on the table. all you gotta do is get there. and BTW, getting there isn't half the fun whatsoever. Being very negative and nostalgic..should listen to more of that Naked and Famous album..kinda makes me pumped when it pops up on the ipod as of late. so...sad to miss the psych fest..turns out i will be a moving ass machine that weekend. hauling and trucking whatever belongings i have left to my parents house. The garage sale will certainly be an eye opener. My hope is that my house will be empty, i will be $200 richer, and moving shit will become more carload style versus truck load. Thank GOD! moving blows. Missing ATX psych fest is really gonna be lame (reevaluation of the lineup today AKA stupid internet search). missing intimate and friend fueled shows like tonite and gatherings like last nite are gonna be the lamest. making jokes with my folks and seeing them so often is gonna kill me. BUT i've grown up so much..being sick and conquering demons has been the most grown up and challenging thing i've ever been thru. sometimes it happens when people are 18. i waited a decade for my own awakening. things happen for a reason , i truly believe that. GOD ain't fuckin around here. so bring on the challenge. i'm ready. i'm ready. i'm ready. the worst fear is the unknown, but its also the most thrilling. let's try keep the pendulum on the thrilling side of things. rambling thoughts are out for now...i don't have a therapist or a punching bag, but i have long jogs, jazzercize, upcoming skype dates with K-spot, HQ folks ,shoulders to lean on, and mytwinletoes on my side until shit hits the fan. feeling very nostalgic, thankful, and dare i say optimistic at said moment. goodnite sweet march, its been a great month. let the real madness begin, April, come in like a fucking lion.

ATX weekend/sxsw memos

sweet, bitter, sweaty. AKA tonite, the last night in the ATX to dance with my besty K-Spot, who will relocate to Atlanta, Georgia next week for the HR dept at the job. super proud of her, and will sadface my last month in austin due to her absence. Sister in law came down for teh weekend and it was pretty much bliss. Dancing tonite kinda ruled, even though the songlist coulda been better..it was grand times all around. Going away party last nite at Shang (duh!) GTBF with Teamfab mate Jen and rocking "on a boat" with damon on the #19 bus late nite style.

This month has flown by it seems... sxsw was just last week...realized a few things. 1)i love public transit. Everytime i get on the bus there's a guaranteed compliment. Thanks fuckies, it really does mean something when you say i'm "lookin' good". plus i don't have to deal with APD or driving or giving a shit about getting to my vehicle. i feel free. this is good prep for new york. 2) i became a Twatter. well, i've had a Twitter acct for a while but never used it. Now i'm following some fuckies and it really is kinda fun. Shitsville on the battery power of the iPhone i will admit. 3)officially hoooked on Instagram. I wonder what real photographers think of all these effects and color washing and framing and such..at the press of a button. prolly haters. But i'm no expert, and instagram lets me pretend. Still in awe of all you people that can shoot the pics w/o the instahelp.
SXSW recap:
Thursday:
*lunch at east side kings w/ RT saved my tummy all day..delicious.
*surprised by Hooray for Earth who i hadn't heard of but caught at the pitchfork takeover at east side drive in. I thought of bear in heaven on prozac. glee!!
*Caught The Fresh and Onlys for the first of a thousand shows they played all week. sheesh!
*worth the walk to see Atlas Sound. homie was seriously painting a canvas of noise right in front of us. got serious chills. Thanks KSpot for the wise decision to try get in..super great timing.
*evening time..on thursday. Beach Fossils and Hunx and His Punx at Shang. Beach Fossils were stunning, as always..the crowwd actually got the fuck into it and John ended up with a bloody bass thumb. Love me some sweet dudes who are appreciative of humble atx crowds. and the townies of course.
FRIDAAY:
*Small Black was a winner...same with last year with guest Washed Out. Made it back this year for teh Rhapsody party, which was pretty grand with the free shirts and guiness and such. Covered THe Sun was High (So was I) by best coast and was super dreamy
*great decision made to skip deerhunter (sorry braddy) to go to the Gorilla Vs bear party.. HRO tweeted that Matt Bonner from the Spurs was in attendance and that was kinda awesome. Made our way down for fucking Summer Camp, which was totally enthralling.. This girl had me cross over for a second. came down into the crowd and we danced, got a lil 3 finger action in..the recording is even better. Thanks kspot! I fancy a duo, but the production on the album fills that shit up.
*Soft Moon: perfection. dark in the club. Pedals fucking everywhere, seriously, how the fuck do you remember what each pedal does?!? holy geez it was perfect. A place to bury a place to bury strangers y'all.
*Longbranch in at night. Another decision with great luck and timing cuz that shit filled up. Saw WEekend and prolly was supposed to like them more or something. BUT the highlight of the fest was Gobble Gobble from canada. These dudes had a Dj on stage making beats..band on the floor with crazy ass keyboards, samplers, percussion out of your mom's kitchen cabinets, glocks, makeshift shakers..plus they had no shirts and wore tutus. carried props through the crowd and totally let us bang on shit. We were seriously grinding against a Nord electro..so fucking up front. sweaty dance party to songs we'd never heard. love love TTM.
*Cloud nothings played right after and we were equally close and it felt houseparty cozy.

Saturday:
east side drive in for mess with texas fest..
*finally saw The Oh Sees, kinda over rated live.but hey, not pissed.
*caught candy claws finally at Gypsy, along with Headless Horsemen. Two dudes face to face with drums and a laptop..by god you must be from NY and practice in your 1/2 bedroom. good job guys!
*Surfer Blood at ESD..view from the top of the #19 Bus (food trailer with upstairs hangout zone). it was nice, but of course the sound not the greatest. Dead Milkmen kinda rocked it though..i think the view and the nostalgia made up for the sound.

*finally say Constantina from Belo Horizante Brazil. Friends of Rapha's, never met, instantly recognized me, bought me a beer and offered me food. GODDAMNIT i love Brazilians! the show was spectacular and they put on a grand party. Mostly instrumental, loungy, somewhat jazzy, but the drums kicked in and hints of Mogwai and noisy, clamorous chaos brought life into it. Streamers and confetti? yup. did i say i fucking loved brazil? shiiiiiit!

So Jen and I had our Team Fab gig for the Thrillist Party on monday. It was kinda the most awesome show we'd ever played. The crowd was amazing, we were treated like queens, if queens like Pop Chips, free Rum, and Durex condoms, hee hee. well, we are those types of queens, and it was great beign on stage with each other, interacting with the crowd, and honestly NGFing. If that was Team Fab's last show (sniff sniff) it was one for the books.

OKAYS, enough about southbysouthwest. its over. austin is normal again, if only for a brief time. cuz this next month is gonna be chaos. i predict a riot. of freakouts. and uncertaintity. But this weekend, as we said farewell to Krissie, its apparent that this place will always be home.

Random thoughts:
-Kanye West i didn't see you live but dancing to monster is fuckin A
-Michael Cera wears a hoodie and a backpack...and this ain't a movie set son. you're still adorable
-bummed about not seeing Foster the People
-Jam of the Week: Oberhofer : I Could Go. justcan'tfuckingstoplisteningtoit!
-the generationals have some great songs, i should just listen to the fucking album more
-fuckies in austin don't need spring break to go bat shit crazy. eeks RE: tonite
-i'm retiring my Larry Bird jersey for Paul Pierce on Tuesday. go celtics! here we go birthday. yay!

<3 all

words will break my laughing muscles. SXSW

WOW, did you hear the news?!!? so. it was a violent fest. i hate that shit. we're trying to have fun and we don't want to end up in a hospital or searching for cotton balls we don't have in our fucking purses cuz when the fuck would we need those? bandaids perhaps, but shit.. wanna be scotch tape doesn't stop the bleeding. i can count the number of scary episodes at sxsw this year (and the many thanks for my lack of presence at said events):

1) the strokes at auditorium shores for free. fuckies stormed the barricades and all of a sudden RIverside drive onlookers had a blocked off street and a place to bro down at the shitsville festival style BS atmosphere that is Auditorium Shores. gugh. has anyone seen the strokes live? not worth the madness. musically perhaps, but check your egos at airport security please!!!!!

2) Screeching Weasel fuckface decided to punch two WOMEN at the scoot in. FUCK YOU twice. san antonio show cancelled either cuz homie is in jail or will get his ass beat. thank you LA times and all the interweb velocity for getting the word out on this..shit TTM. srsly, just search Screeching Weasel gets into Fight! on YouTube. gross

3) Boom camera arm at OMD show at stubbs fell on crowd and sent two ppl to the ER.This was an official SXSW showcase w/ improper permits.

4) DFA played at the beauty bar where alley onlookers broke down the fenced barricade. is on Youtube and looks not toooo bad, but screams of a girl needing help never sets my heart at east. Nice interim jokes told by DFA whilst the APD had to TCB on horses.

So aside from some superduper amazing nice shows, which i will write about later, i'll close with a few memorable quotes from the week:

1)" now would be a great time to be on psychadelics" - some bro hanging out at Flamingo Cantina awaiting the only Atlas Sound show at SXSW. K-spot and myself agreed that the general monstrosity of the sponsorship logos and oddly placed gold watch dealer banner would put anyone on psychadelics into a tailspin. #beerisgood

2)"man i wish i could get into a fight right now!" some dudester just kicking it, post 2:15 AM on east 5th street on the walk to my car last night. srsly bro, the pure volume house is not worth a fight.

3)"You are not an Ostrich" -kpsot telling me that my outstretched neck wouldn't even be able to see the end of the line at longbranch inn for Gobble Gobble and Cloud Nothings. Thank GOD cuz we posted up early fuckies and were rewarded with the madness of houseparty style dancing and noise <3

4)"Can I Kiss you" -homeless dude "no"-Me "Can i give you a hug?" -homeless dude "no but thank you anyway" --me. "I like your demeanor" --homeless dude. This was an extrememly awesome interaction witha non begging homeless man. dare i say i was smiling the whole time?!? well i was, out of laughter and maybe a bit of 'GODDAMNIT I LOVE AUSTIN!!" but the smell was a bit intrusive.. said homieless was spotted eating out of trashcan tonite, FYI

5) "my mic smells like beard." --Aaron Sinclair of Frank Smith. I found it to be the least vulgar of things one could say about a weiner shaped apparatus. just sayin.

6) "can i get more applause in my monitor?"-- Lead singer of Smith Westerns. funny as hell, but a complete DB the entire time. WTF? hate that shit. file that under too young to be so idolized by the pitchfork readers...and don't let shit go to yer head.

i would write more about the amazing music i saw (Dom, Gobble Gobble, Cloud Nothings, Soft Moon, Summer Camp, The Lemurs, Beach Fossils AKA the nicest band ever, Hunx, Royal Bangs, No Age..etc) and the ultra fun DJ gig with Jen a la Team Fabrication style... but girls gotta rest. Maybe a regrets and highlights blog to come?? so...Spring Break is officially cashed. only the week, not the mentality, hee hee.. Kanye or not (emphasis on not damnit!!) it was breathtaking and sentimental..and was enjoyed with the greatest of forever friends... i'm talking to you RT, Krissie, Gunner, Jen, Damon, and new friends, my Brazilian homies from the band Constantina (hailing frome Belo Horizante) as well. <3 special thanks for my bro, sis in law, and my folks for coming in to enjoy the march madness. Special thanks to Rio Rita double espresso over ice with a shot of sweet n low and cream. and maddd thanks to the door peeps/ bartenders at shang, gypsy,Longbranch, rio rita, hotel vegas, mohawk, and everyone for being so bushy tailed and grinning ANY time a regular like myself/us stormed up amongst a sea of tourists. it'll be hard to leave home after such hospitality. TAKE A BREAK KIDS>>> its much deserved ;) and TYVM for GVBear for an excellent party at the Klub K. kinda got excited that HRO tweeted that Matt Bonner was at said party. Go Spurs..sort of..i mean, after the celtics of course ;) oh and diazepam, old school homeowner on east 6th with 1$ watter bottles and cokes, plus Sopranos reruns to lull me to bed..much love and hugs ;)

BTW, i got prime viewing for surfer blood and dead milkmen on the top of the cheesesteak smelling lonestar stocking #19 bus..all hail buddy Tim for the bus and awesome food trailer invasion of east austin. here's a mini vid:

the house of fashion

my friend RT said i should get ready for dudes wearing shiny silver spacesuits and giving themselves hardons because of it. on the subway. well i'm not even there, and I'm over it. IT!!! i'm also over the whole single rat tail dreadlock (emphasis on DREAD) i see many a dudebro fuckie sporting around town, mainly after the PBR run or buffalo exchange. Okay, I'M BEING AN ASSHOLE--- yeah i get it. Guilty as charged. maybe i'm jealous of the stylish girls or maybe i'm too broke to afford what i really want to buy, whether or not its what they have or a la croix or rodarte dress i just saw in elle. but seriously, everyone looks the fuckin same, and everything hits at once. too much at once. trying to make a statement has become the most mundane statement on the planet. for the most part, people are sweet and jovial when you spend an actual second to have an actual meet up or conversation...and style really, truly doesn't define a persons true essence, all cards on the table . I guess i just don't get what and why things are fashionable. at said moment at least. or is it a certain attitude i try to look past but am intimidated by? i like to think not because i try my hard, hard, hardest to be with and around everyone i see, and i'm usually rewarded by this mantra. i guess, well, i'm just ranting right now. dammnnnitt!!! oh and also i'm admitting, i'm sick of my wardrobe. i'm sick of trends. i want more flashy accessories, i want bejeweled vintage waist cinching dresses (thanks a lot Mad Men) and i don't have them. plus warm boots and textured leggings. waah wahh for me. okay i'm stoppping . i can do better than this BS. but wait, this isn't BS is it?!? or is it!??! God help me and the rat tails . hearts xo

the big 3

three shows in three days. im so tired, i can only hope that the sxsw party-a-thon wont ruin me with fatigue like the past few nites. all for a great cause though. won't lie to you, it is always a pleasure seeing the laughing, and sunday nite was a great preview. last nite i caught the Elephant 6 Holiday Tour. my new crush is Julian Koster, former member of NMH plus founding member of the music tapes. i must admit a lil disappointment with the whole evening, forgive me E6 Gods ;) The Olivia Tremor Control covers were by far the best of the bunch. And if you were in the crowd i hope you like Elf Power as much as i did cuz the set was heavy on the elf. no complaints;) no 5 fingering anyone, just a brush on the back of Scott Spillane, which really is kinda cool.. the band changed my life. i hate the word, but yeah, in an entirely EPIC way. so onto tonite, PS I Love You and Diamond Rings. A-FUCKING-MAZING!! PS I Love you's first time in texas, and they killed it. had to turn to my friend ashley cuz i was stuck in that damnit, who does he remind me of?!?! mode. WOlf Parade. DUH. homeboy Pete from PSILOVEYOU sounds like spencer krug. to the fucking max. not a mystery, but God bless ash for getting it off my mind for the rest of the set. speaking of the set, my ears were bleeding. stood way too close and the guitar amp was slaying everything. but it was powerful and right to just get lost in. esp when J Mascis riffs came stabbing at the crowd from said amp. it was such a pump up for Diamond Rings. I found myself 8 counting Jazzercise steps to the beats, and had nice front and center viewing capabilities. i almost decided to wait until sxsw to catch them, but holy geez this was one great show. without all the riff and raff. elfgirl needs sleep now. xo