moving on with the beginning time of the grand ol 2012..sorta felt like someone/thing pasted a "Kick Me" sign onto my back. not pretty. Made it outta the fog though, and continue to soul search without feeling such a "plunging into nowhere" rush of anxiety..
after much contemplation and pingpong headplay, i decided to hit up SXSW this year. goin on a plane as an early Bday present from mom and dad. i can't even say i'm stoked on the bands or have any semblance of a schedule. just gonna go and take it all in from a tourist point of view, however possible that is from a native. This means i prolly won't RSVP for shit, but just wander.. stress free, and 20 pages of underlined/ must see shows lighter than usual. When you aren't DYING to see the Jesus and Mary Chain, it may just happen ;) Its a different mindset knowing that most of the bands i'd go outta my way to catch in past years are bands I can see *almost* any day of the week in the new homeland. I wonder how new york friends will look at the Austin, Texas.. i wonder the small world connections we all have.. i wonder if I'll be lost in a sea of people alone.. i also wonder where i'm gonna sleep. Small worries.
PLUS, people: All the exes seem to have grown up, grown beards, and achieved the status of unavailable as of late. Some of the lady friends have literally moved the fuck on and out. I"m gonna try see as many of everyones as possible but the dynamic is surely gonna be different, if not nonexistent, with certain folks. LIfe is happening to everyone. not lamenting too much, just observing as i do best.
So, as it stands i'm 13 days away from it all, and i really can't fucking wait to sleep in mom and dads guest bedroom. i've had a certain cheesy smile on my face since i booked my ticket. gonna hit up sobriety for a bit before the march madness ensues. but yeah , bring it.