is that a pizza balloon with a side mug of beer?

nothin like bruised knees and skin drenched in beer on a tuesday night. thanks a million to Diarrhea Planet for TCBing on that tip. 4 guitars, bass, drums, plus endless amounts of unabashed spunk/pride/humility ...to make a DBA show feel like everything else outside the sweaty confines of a tiny graffiti filled noise box didn't matter. All else was invisible. Show of all shows..anchored (literallY) by supersized balloons shaped as pizza and beer mugs and a happy newly-turned-30 dudefriend. OH GOSH feeling feelings, OH MY! get sentimental at birthdays and milestones, no doubt. inching upon my first foray into Bushwick living. Leaving my first NY apartment for the everexpanding/gentrifying neighborhood we all keep hearing about: the one that we let linger in our budget conscious and next big thrill thoughts: AKA Bushwick. Tacos, 99cent values, and THE spandex goldent skintight fabric mecca of stores thrive. here i COME fuckies~! welcome me to lost adventures and proper late night sandwich discoveries. and if my fear of change is listening, well fuck off. LETS REALLY BE REAL: i'm throwing a show/party thsi saturday. i miss putting on events and shows in the ol homestead, so i feel lucky to have found a space that allows me to curate a proper bill and DJ for the straphangers as well. its nice to be free of pressure and expectation which was a hovering beast in austin..and just put together somethign special. Dont wanna know or care about much of anything except good times and big fun..in the form of sonic happiness. how gay does that sound?!?! so much faITH in Cool Serbia, daytona, and Summer Saints..i'm gonna be a kid in a gumdrop swimming pool!! and Kate is a dreamy DJ partner who is always in it to win it and i wouldn't have it any other way in terms of an inspiring and funloving partner. SO THERE> I really hope the enthusiasm in my head makes its way into the heads of everyone! (GOD PLEASE) 6:00am its been a night and its time for bed.. post pickle sleep, its the best sleep you and I will ever know. a thousand things are on my mind: my upcominig change of scenery, my trip to Atlantic City with the unstoppable K-Spot, Spring time in Austin, my new crush who gives me blushy cheeks and peels off the layers of this weirdo brainfruit ever so nicely, Jazzer boot camp, the end of Middlesex, hugging the new everything and letting go of the old everything...sometimes the mind overflows and its a really sweet feeling <3

Sprung Spring

oh goodness, this is so strange. I'm approaching a year in Brooklyn, and holy shit! i'm so so happy. i can't count too many letdowns. aside from triple the rent and less than triple the pay, everything is coming up roses. I'm excited for summer..the impending bicycle purchase, visit from Krissie, and BBQs apparently. having a job for 3 days a week and a DJ gig to supplement means enough free time to Jazzer, adventure, and laundry my life into something pretty manageable and enjoyable. hopefully a trip to Boston at the end of the month of May, and i'll feel like i really am utilizing this whole living in the northeast strategy. Also being in love with the Celtics with the Knicks second, it makes sense to meeeeeeeee. In quotable news, heard a few good ones lately: "I have a crush on every boy." - perfect companion "I believed in myself too much." - homegirl on #420 "We're out of Rolling Rock." - God bless you "Williamsburg resident and avid bruncher" - ughhhhhhdjakoeijelkje;lkj!!! lame UPCOMING AWESOME SHOWS: Shark? at Shea Stadium The Death Set at Shea Stadium Crystal Stilts/Woods at 285 Kent The Babies/Ducktails DJ set at 285 Kent The Hairs at Cake Shop Ty Segall/White Fence/Strange boys at Webster Hall The So So Glos at Shea Stadium Big Troubles/The Hairs at Glasslands Summerstages with Beach House and lots of other bands i hopefully will be biking to.. Oh and BTW, all i got for record store day was a 12 hour shift and a Davila 666 CD. (wanted Nobunny real bad) But hey! i'm rich by my standards and i don't quite have a turntable here...so i count my blessings, iPod dock and everything <3

here we go nuffin

So here i am, posting lyrics to a song i've loved and listened to a million times..but damn doesn't it make sense??? right. fucking. now ?!?!?!? Dear Spoon, Thank you for nuffin.. hearts :)

When I'm with you, all my brothers, oh
I feel like a king
It feels like I'm dreaming

When that blood goes rattling through my veins
My ears start to ring
I notice what matters

And I got nothing to lose but darkness and shadows
Got nothing to lose but bitterness and patterns

When I can't find the way to reach you my love
I'm just not the same
Just the same

When I know you're watching out for me
I know what I'm knowing
I can see what matters

And I got nothing to lose but darkness and shadows
Got nothing to lose but emptiness and hang-ups
Oooo

Oh, when I know you're watching out for me
I look for what matters
And I notice what matters

And I got nothing to lose but darkness and shadows
Got nothing to lose but loneliness and patterns

The flowers blooming, the trains collide
Ahhh
I don't got a thing to lose

i've been numb lately..waiting for a storm that hasn't hit, under sever tornado warning. Trying to conceptualize the upcoming change but losing all the bets...emotional at all the wrong times, and feeling numb at the appropriate sad ones. this move can't happen unless i know someone's watching over me, unless i focus on what matters, unless i am forced to let go of emptiness, bitterness, loneliness, old patterns. WTF do i have to lose, right? well, at the moment it feels like i'm losing everything, and i've forgotten about the flowers yet to bloom. i've never done this before, so my brain is in self sustaining lockdown...forcing itself to ward off the reality and cling onto the familiar..this may also be disguised as sadness and anxiety, fear of the unknown, a survival coping mechanism..all natural patterns of thought. HOWEVER, i need to get a small taste of the flowers blooming. this is totally surreal, and i can't think of any way to put it into typeset, unemotional words. shoulda hired a therapist for an hour or so.. jsut so i could let it all out and get it all straight. but alas, the time has flown, and luckily i've got the blessings of loving friends, and tough loving friends. couldn't survive without any of you fuckies. Plus my family, fucking A!!! Seeing Dad play for the last time for a while was wonderufl. i sorta danced my ass off and wished i played one last show with daddy. here's bit of history on that, written my my pal Jason Chronis : http://ontheroadsouth.blogspot.com/2011/04/zebras.html I nearly tear up when i hear this song and watch this video. ahhh...
So this will prolly be my last ATX post...we'll see how living in the cuts for a few days and a vacation out to slow mo west coast treats me before the adopted and adaptive pace of NY life slays me or pays me. one of my last fond memories of ATX was wandering down the streets to the sounds of Edwawrd Sharpe on the railroad tour, and dance skipping right up to the brilliant view and sounds with G Face, posting up for a song or two, thinking of my mom and k-spot,and how wonderful the company coulda been had timely and monetary circumstances had been different. (woah total runon sentence, wow!).it was refreshing and fun for realz.. but things have changed, for better or worse, the deal is sealed..i'm going y'all, and i won't quit talking or swearing like a texas gal. that's where my heart is..but its time for a breath of fresh polluted air to refuel. YES. heres to not being scared,and starting to get excited. As RT and sisters raya and buffy have said..its gonna be just fine. Last show in the ATX: tomorrow nite White Rabbits (first studio band) and Sour Notes (ex band). this should be interesting and fun. i still have some valuable faces to kiss and hug tomorrow, but it looks like the end will be filled with tunes. that seems like a good sendoff and a wonderfully inspiring beginning ;)

its official

so i'm totally in heart with Craft Spells, metronomy remixes, and Oberhofer right now.. and the new billboard (!!!yes, billboard i said) of the new Battles album is kinda awesome.. it this glorious glob of pink silly string looking muck that stands high above the i-35 freeway at the 32nd street exit. Sooo weird. i had seen the artwork online but was kinda stunned that a billboard that didn't have miller lite or save a child was posted up on the freeway. i guess the sxsw sponsorship is over and the overly gregarious media front by whathaveyou anti abortion association decided that it may be more appropriate to advertise near the planned parenthood exit. don't get me started, fuck that shit. soo..i officially gave my final quit date at work tonite. its all becoming a reality. and yes, the awkward and indescribable dreams of ex boyfriends, paranoid work situations, unimaginable tiffs with friends have ensued. its nice to wake up and know that reality isn't exactly measured by my dreams..i certainly hope for better ones, but i know my brain, i'm sure there's more to come. speaking of yet to come.. Very pissed i'll be missing the crocodiles and beach fossils and crystal stilts and many others during Austin Psych Fest (Krissie are ya wit me??)..but that's moving weekend for me and i gots to get shit either thrown away or into my parent's storage nook they so kindly cleaned out for me..plus my dads band (some originals and covers by rolling stones, beatles, zombies, kinks, ? and the mysterians, beach boys , you know the drill...its an awesome drill and i wish i could relearn the songs and play w/ em grr...)is playing on moving nite/weekend..in other news, came across some old recordings from random sunday jams with Drivesafe and RT today.. its funny the spontaneous joy that is had when just fucking around on your instrument...and sooo lucky to have the songs;/memories on the ol hard drive. not much else to report.. sucking ass that i can't get sea of bees or the loom on the DL tip, but hopefully soon i'll be able to buy real merch and pay real handclap praise to the bands. Oh and BTW, must intro Gunner to Airwaves...he'd get a kick esp after dana falconberry and friends #notetoself So.. it seems to be raining now.. the wind sounded like a pussy ass beach wave earlier, and it made me wanna visit a texas beach before i move.. prolly not gonna happen but damn, if that's not a powerful and thought provoking time for one to spend with the nature. k, so i'm totes babbling and using the word totes like its appropriate for writing. AKA must stop with this and get some rest. i gave official notice that i'm quitting my job today so i deserve a few cocktails after that big step, following a good weekend of being alone, packing my possessions in near solitude, and thinking. if you were in my head you'd prolly want a glass of wine too. thanks for reading, trying not to be so self absorbed lately..but that shit hurts , forgive me. hearts everyone ")

Pre Spring post

surprise of the day...Sunday Jazzercise class... i never go on sundays, and today was just what i needed after waking up to a dreary morning. Jazzercise has been a Godsend to me, ever since i became too disenchanted with my neighborhood to jog..and i go because i'm sick of the normal scenery of the standard 3 miles, and I love the incorporation of actual dance routines into a cardio workout. Plus i get to hear some awesome music. most of which i would never choose to listen to whilst cleaning the house, driving around during various errands..or anyfuckingtime for that matter. I'm now better schooled on Katy Perry, Beyonce, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, and so many more.. Today was completely surprised to hear "Don't You Evah" by Spoon during the pre weight segment.. "They're from Austin" homegirl Kate announced. She always talks about the music (which i love about her leading the class. plus anyone with a pulse can tell she's an ex drill team member, and totally loves the extra rhythmic step she adds to all the 8 count routines.yes!!) I also heard some Scissor Sisters..apparently two SS songs have made it onto Jazzercise routine playlists. Flor-ida i heard also, and realized i've been pronouncing it wrong the whole time. An old remix of Rick Springfield also made it into the mix today, and i thought "GODDAMNIT i wanna DJ this soo fucking bad!!" Shakira has me movin my hips and feeling a lil extra brazilian and booty bangin all the time. we did a mambo once too.. one of my favorite routines. i never knew that the step-ball-change i abandoned when i was 8 years old would have so much impact on my life a good (CHRIST!) 25 years later. sheesh. i can only hope i get some J-Cize into my life up in the Northeast. speaking of...lots of headway has been made, and things are quickly progressing..just need to unload some seriously unimportant tangible goods, book my ticket, and its showtime!
speaking of... shows! ahh yes, its a show week for sure.. i saw the laughing tonite. got lost in a plethora of soundscapes yet to be topped by any band in the ATX in my humble opinion. BTW, Grant plz don't ever cut that hair!! plus caught a bit of International waters, a new ATX band that tickled my ears quite a bit. Tomorrow i'm going to the Elephant 6 Holiday Reunion Tour. Hoping for a jeff mangum sighting, but will be certainly pleased to see old members of Elf Power, Marshmallow Coast, OTC, sunshine fix, NMH, music tapes and whoever else wants to chime in..playing old tunes. i haven't done much research on this tour, and didn't have my hopes up too high.. after reading the 33 1/3 series on Neutral Milk Hotel and realizing the importance and DIY normalcy (for the time at least) innerworkings of the whole collective...I have to see it. To me, it seems completely imaginative and somewhat enchanting and admirable for this blogospheric/internet culture we now reside in that this collective remained the family that never lost its core beliefs.. at least i hope not. And after attending show after show of side project after offshoots of side projects, it could be pretty magical to see a culmination of it all. honestly i'm kinda hoping for all covers of the greats..i see so much new stuff nowadays..and i love it to the max.. but we all can pinpoint a time when a song or a genre really defined ourselves as obsessive creative freaks. and quite frankly i'm glad to enjoy the circus..and if it sucks, well, i'm still gonna see my husband at ATP in New Jersey in October...yeeeeaah.
Night 3 of show week is PS I Love You with Diamond Rings just added to the bill. kinda really jazzed about this show. Tuesday nite, the first day of march.. a great way to start off the March of madness.. the month of my birthday and the departure of my best friend to the city of Atlanta. The month i finally get to see Ray Allen go balls deep vs the Spurs. I'm gonna do my best to not be sad. I'll prolly cry at Frank Smith on Thursday. but that's alright. we've still got the mid march mania of SXSW to keep the demons away. at least for a lil while until real life and real feelings set in. Again, more commentary on the move (yeah yeah,read it and huff..it IS on my mind all the time...sorry for the boring yet most prioritized thoughts going on in elfland)..gotta switch banks and switch bills, rent my room out, and cut several ties to texas on the accounting tip. Plane ticket to arrive and be booked within the next week or so. Then everything becomes real. reality. yes, its gonna come some time, and it can't be blanketed by the many attempts of doing so as of late..times have been good...but knowing that a new real version of living is on the horizon...thats a scary yet exhilirating way to feel. its showtime for elfgirl. rehearse everyone, cuz we all need to perform TTM! gnite loves.
oh wait, PS! i think the Mohawk was playing some of the new walkmen tonite, and it fucking rocked. i coulda been wrong, but whatever, shit sounded great and reminded me to not give up on bands that stole my heart once or twice <3



3/1/2011 fuckies! BTW, homeboy didn't change clothes all week last year.. but his makeup was perfection ;)

i'm hoping to be asleep before the end of this post

insomnia is a bitch. SRSLY. not like sticky syrup fingers after eating waffles bitch, that's merely annoying. not like mistakenly DLing the clean version of the new Kanye album bitch...that's just a lapse in soulseek judgement. Insomnia is a whole different beast of a bitch.. a cold hearted, throat slitting bitch. I'm sitting here kickin it with her now and i can't get her to leave. she makes me wanna think too much and smoke cigarettes for no reason. Those behaviours i do tend to indulge in but kinda trying to cut back on both.. grr..Speaking of insomnia, there was a 24 hour coffee shop near my college dorm, and what was it named?!?! yup, Insomnia. i thought it was the grandest name in the world for a coffee shop. i wish it was next door now..the dent in the mattress midsection isn't the most comfy..speaking of bitch, i'll quit that shit right now!

so in other news...i'm outta the closet on the whole relocation tip. and i must select a coast.. funny how i've always been obsessed with brooklyn bands and the "how the fuck is anyone even in a band in the city?!?" stuff...This past year some favorites came from the west coast.. the beach is good for us. it keeps us human, and makes people want to smoke a ton of weed and make some great tunes. right? hell karen o seemed to like it. ahh, what a way to pick a place to move, huh?

actually i really am thinking this one through..more than ever y'all. hence the insomnia. i'm assuming. Yet with all this deciding and step taking and quivering nerves, the days of thriving in the possibilities of life are seeping back in..taking care of myself and living faithfully in moments (at least trying to, hehe) welcome back also. wasting time, its fucking rubbish...Absurdities and obscenities cannot be forgotten. they are the slices of life.

New Habit Alert: went jogging on the outskirts of a mall parking lot this past weekend, and fuck jogging, let's dance! made up silly routines and pretended i was a dancer, a real one at least. sometimes a ballerina...sometimes a celtics cheerleader.. whatthefuckever..it was freedom. Freedom like a jog in the country the morning after i decided to decide...when i didn't even mind the sun and had spontaneous dancing in the pasture... So far my favorite songs are "Mien" by Million Young for modern/interpretive dance, "Chinatown" by Wild Nothing for ballet, and of course "Home" by Edward Sharpe for skipping.. <--that one would be funner with a partner. If K-Spot is reading, hey, that was for you!

New Habit Alert #2: Jazzercise. $20 for 12 classes. Let's make a Deal yo

New Habit Alert #3: board games. must play them more. i think my dream job would be the person who though up all the stupid questions and topics, and such..not too savvy on an exact example right now.. but working on a game seems just as much fun as playing it, especially if it involves word games. Oh and PS-have you ever fucking tried to MAKE a crossword puzzle of your own. that shit is an insomniatic bitch too! AKA difficult.

ok...so year end lists arriving in a while probably in top 10 form..we'll see...just read K-Spot's worst itunes puchases of 2010, and i was in stitches. tomorrow will dive into the pitchfork list of best and worst album covers of the year...one of my favorite articles this year was about modern bands using old photos or digitally dehancing them to look completely antique, i suppose its called hipstamaticulating? ha. czech it here if you like: This is Not a Photograph http://pitchfork.com/features/articles/7833-this-is-not-a-photograph/1/

especially if you are someone who has "a specific lifestyle that merges real-life obligations with the desire to stay deliriously young." <---damn i love that line.

and with that, i think the bitch went to bed. Tomorrow is today,g'nite <3

totally random and prolly won't be about music at all.

pre titled post. just have so much to say, and not sure if i am going to bring music into it, but IDFK really , there's a lot going on in the elfin brain. neurotransmitters are firing..sometimes actually landing on the right receptor..

* tonite was genius. an atypical tuesday nite.. went to coffee shop/food/bar spiderhouse and met up with HQ boy and HQ girls...i like it when different sets of friends get on

* my parents i absolutely adore. they are the best TTM!

*danced in HQ boys living room to Bruce Springsteen Youtube videos..Dancin in the dark and Born to Run. i hate saying epic, obviously, but shit Born to Run as a video, as an experience in my head.. was actually epic. how does it feel to have such a seemingly good time with your bandmates, high kicking, back to back playing, swaggering confidently to a stadium full of double armed yelling mfuckers and christlike praise?!?! again IDFK, but staged or not, those E streeters and the boss had fucking fun.

*ive not one dirty piece of clothing.. laundry conquered.. and i realize i enjoy clean PJs just as much, if not more, than clean sheets.

*i think that just general years spent on earth usually outweigh actual experiences. for example, i feel a lil more capable of seeing things in a different (i didnt' say better, just different..better, well, who knows?) manner than someone 10 yrs younger than myself. And yes, i have interactions with this age group all the time. and yes, perhaps youthful fame, sickening trauma involving death or death on earth (imagine what you will), and an inherited surname could be excluded..

*i see myself riding on a subway home, bleary eyed, yet with a nervous itch in my tummy waiting to spew with giddiness and the realization that I have in fact, done whatever it is i wanted to do.. But prolly it was spending time with a fictional "you"

*satisfaction won't come without facing lingering desires,. esp the ones that appear in your nightmares. and then resurface every waking second.

*i have an over reaction to coffee and the places i drink it most at. i never order enough, and i never leave satisfied. never/always. its like cigarettes.

*really would i have this much fun if i was your sister? i just count on being that valuable i suppose?

*ariel pink and matt fishbeck have me ...lyrics that i can decipher are here: "you can talk about the way you understand me. but i don't think you really understand me. go ahead and write my whole life story. sell it to my mother,for a good reaction, I'm sure she'd love to know....." sorta hopeless

WOW, ok..holy christ and then

"let every man sing his tune..note the changes in his voice... listen carefully and rejoice... " sorta hopeful

WOW realizing and feeling someTHING, and then..

" walking up the avenue i hear the bells chime.....ringing into my step and i feel so fine, knowing theres a place for me to ease my mind, knowing theres no reason to be unkind, oh the places we could go.." screw hope this is real!

*I adore deciphering songs like i did just above. i may not know two shits about the real meaning of this song but i sure as hell want to make it into a story. i also want my brothers to hear this song. this song reminds me of jeff mangum.

*Red Lights by Holy Fuck is sorta awesome. It had K-Spot still on the dancefloor, and my niece loooves the kitty cat vid.

*got wind of a Wavves/Best Coast collaboration for Target. super enticing. i hope its about the dollar spot or the fancy christmas chocolate sale going on as we speak.

* too much on my mind right now, but glad to dream a lil dream with fast typing hands and a virtual notebook i call my twinkletoes.

gnite